the baby shower

When it came to planning our baby shower, we knew we wanted our friends and family to be there.  My husband and I started planning ourselves and then delegated tasks to some willing friends. The main tasks for us was finding a place and also food.

The venue was a bit of a pain.  We were not willing to spend that much but needed a space that could fit everyone in San Francisco.  We were estimating about 40 people so our condo was out of the question.  We wished our condo had a community room so we actually booked a day at a friend's community room.  We had been to a baby shower there before.  Weather was awesome while we were looking for a venue so my husband had his heart also set on the mini SF Giants field.  We also booked there.  It was just a mini baseball field with no real restrooms and tables or chairs so it seemed like it would be a lot of work to set up. Not to mention if it rained then we would need to move the location last minute.

Carol had been to a baby shower in the South Beach Harbor Community room so she helped us look into that. It was the right size and right price, so we confirmed that location. It was perfect.  It was close to home, had a playground right next door, had tables, chairs, and a restroom, and tables outside for people who wanted to be outside.  The only issue was parking.  We tried to mitigate it by scheduling the shower on a Sunday so that at least street parking would be free.  It was also hard to find since it is actually Pier 40A and lots of people ended up at Pier 40.  Also Pier 40 is not next to Pier 39.

We decided to go with City Smokehouse for catering and it was a hit.  We had chicken, beef brisket, mushrooms, beet salad, rolls, and mac and cheese.  People loved the BBQ and it was super easy.  It is not cheap though and we had contemplated just doing Costco roasted chickens and some Trader Joe's frozen food. We had so much food leftover.  Next time we don't need to order the same number of servings as attendees.  We still have leftovers frozen.

The theme was dictated by the Paperless Post invite Jacqueline helped us find and send out.  It actually matched our wedding invitations.  The e-card had woodland creatures on a wooden background.

Carol took the lead on most of the decorations. Jacqueline also found and bought supplies. Jess did drinks

 Cynthia organized all the games and desserts with the help of my mother-in-law

The baby shower was fun. It was great to see all our close friends and family. 

the gender reveal

So it has been a while since I wrote.  I cannot believe that my due date is almost 2 weeks away!  Time flies but this last leg definitely felt super slow.

Since then a lot has happened. we did an informal gender reveal where we didn't find out the gender right there during the ultrasound appointment.  We had the doctor and the sonographer circle the gender on a note and sealed it until we could open it at dinner.

We went out to dinner that night to Aveline.  We used to watch Top Chef religiously and the chef at Aveline was a fan favorite on one of the seasons that we followed.  It was nice that we were not in a doctor's office and no one was explaining the anatomy of the baby to us.  We were having dinner and chatting about the baby between courses.  I looked at the note second so I saw my husband's reaction first.  I had actually thought it was a boy, but it's a girl!

the books

i have been doing some reading on pregnancy and parenting.

The first book I read was How Eskimos Keep Their Babies warm.  It was a collection of one mother's experiences in different parts of the world. It didn't get too deep into parenting philosophies but was interesting to learn about how children are in other parts of the world.

The next few books were given to me by a friend who has kids.  What To Expect When You're Expecting is in a question and answer format.  I read through what was relevant to me.  If you have a question about your pregnancy, it is probably answered in this book.  She also gave me The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy.  It is a bit dated but some things still apply.  I am still reading the Baby 411 book but this one is not that fun for me.  While reading it, I feel like there is so much to remember.  It includes lots of tables about what weight the baby should be at what age or how much they should eat or how much they should sleep or what developmental milestone they should've reached. Stresses me out.

I also read Bringing Up Bebe and enjoyed it quite a bit. It is one American mother's point of view on French parenting. It is easy to read, funny, and relatable.  I like a lot of the discoveries she documents.  I am not sure I can implement them but the book resonated with me.

Then I read Parenting Without Borders.  Also interesting to read about how other countries deal with parenting.

Some others I want to read are Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, and Happiest Baby on the Block. There are some on my list I might not get to: Brain Rules for Baby, NurtureShock, No Drama Discipline, and The Whole Brain Child.

the maternity clothes

For the first couple months, I was able to wear my normal clothes. My tops were not tight fitting so I have been able to wear the same tops.

From week 15-20, I actually wore some DIY maternity jeans. I made two jeans with elastic inserts.  Then one pair of black pants with a different type of elastic insert.  And finally one pair of jeans with a full panel. The elastic insert jeans worked quite well for a while but then there started to not be enough room. I moved to the full panel but because I cut too much they don't fit right and fell down. I would constantly have to yank them up which is unsightly and a pain.  For my black pants, I used a seam ripper and opened up the sides and back seam and added elastic there.  They are also ill-fitting and fall down when I walk.

At Week 21, I gave in and bought a pair of maternity jeans from gap. they are full panel and very well made.  They dont fall down, are comfortable, and look great.  I've also been wearing my lululemon leggings but at times even those dont sit at the right place on my belly.

I had really hoped to not buy maternity clothing but now my shirts are starting to feel tight. next purchase might be maternity shirts

the news

i had an irrational fear of something bad happening or of miscarriage so it took us a while to feel comfortable enough to tell people about the baby.  it really depends on how comfortable you feel and everyone is different. We waited until about 14 weeks until we told our parents and even then it was a bit rushed.

we were going to guernville/healdsburg for the weekend with my college friend and his wife and we knew that during the weekend, they would figure that I was not drinking wine.  So on our drive up to meet them for dinner, we called our parents.  My parents seemed happy and my mother-in-law seemed more concerned.  Everyone will react differently.

A lot of people will have a lot of advice.  Don't eat watermelon.  Don't eat cheese.   Don't eat spicy stuff.  Don't eat this or that.  Those are personal choices as well. They key for me is really cleanliness.  If I think the food is clean I will eat it.  Of course, even when I think it is clean, it may not be.  So far in my pregnancy, I had one cold and then two small bouts of diarrhea.  Nothing serious though.

I didn't have morning sickness so I was able to wait before needing to tell my boss. Once I told her, I told my actual manager as well. It was weird, when I talked about being pregnant, I would tear up. Damn hormones.

the doctor

I had seen two other Obs before deciding that this third one was the right one for me. By the time I saw her though, I was already pregnant so that might have subconsciously factored into it. A lot of people in San Francisco deliver at CPMC.  It seems to be the hospital of choice.  I wanted to make my own choice. 

My sister-in-law delivered at Mills Peninsula in Burlingame.  We had visited her after she gave birth and the place was relatively new, easy to access, and had ample parking.  The first Ob I saw delivered there. I had some concerns about being more susceptible to postpartum depression and tapering off the medication I was on at the time.  We seemed to have some cultural differences as she did not understand why people were unhappy or depressed.  Where she came from, people supposedly did not have the luxury of being depressed.  She told me to eat some jelly beans instead of my medication as placebo effect.  At the time, it seemed humorous, but looking back it was kind of negligent that she would suggest something like that.

The next Ob I saw did deliver at CPMC.  She was really straightforward and while she was not warm or fuzzy, she seemed knowledgeable and open to hearing my concerns. She was the one who suggested we start before the tracker told us to so I am grateful for her suggestion. 

My Ob now delivers at UCSF.  What I liked about UCSF was that it was close by, the new hospital is being built within walking distance.  I was also open to exploring the possibility of having a midwife help me out and UCSF has them on staff.  I actually don't know if CPMC has that as well. I wanted to try a natural birth, maybe even without an epidural so having a midwife there would be great.  I am not against an epidural but I believe I had a relatively high pain tolerance.  Birth seems so unpredictable so that might not be possible, but I would like the opportunity and the support to try.

When I went in for my first appointment, which was called the pregnancy confirmation, I loved how close and convenient the office was.  It was also really new and high tech.  They weighed me on the bed I was sitting on instead of those uncalibrated beam scales.  They also asked me if I wanted to know my weight, which was surprisingly a first!  I actually did not prefer to know because it can trigger issues for me, but this was the first office that actually asked me.  Some offices I would even tell them I don't know how much I weigh or that I prefer a blind weigh and they would still tell me!  They did include the weight on the post-appointment print out, but at least they tried. 

My doctor was knowledgeable, warm, and pretty easy going which were all qualities I didn't know I preferred until I met her. 

the calendar

One useful tool that we used to conceive was the period tracker.  There are other tools out there that people use.  We might have tried the ovulation strips too but we seemed to be relatively lucky in conceiving without too much time or effort.  In my search for an ob, one did recommend that we start about 10 days before the tracker told us it was "time".  The first month we did that, it worked!