i have been doing some reading on pregnancy and parenting.
The first book I read was How Eskimos Keep Their Babies warm. It was a collection of one mother's experiences in different parts of the world. It didn't get too deep into parenting philosophies but was interesting to learn about how children are in other parts of the world.
The next few books were given to me by a friend who has kids. What To Expect When You're Expecting is in a question and answer format. I read through what was relevant to me. If you have a question about your pregnancy, it is probably answered in this book. She also gave me The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy. It is a bit dated but some things still apply. I am still reading the Baby 411 book but this one is not that fun for me. While reading it, I feel like there is so much to remember. It includes lots of tables about what weight the baby should be at what age or how much they should eat or how much they should sleep or what developmental milestone they should've reached. Stresses me out.
I also read Bringing Up Bebe and enjoyed it quite a bit. It is one American mother's point of view on French parenting. It is easy to read, funny, and relatable. I like a lot of the discoveries she documents. I am not sure I can implement them but the book resonated with me.
Then I read Parenting Without Borders. Also interesting to read about how other countries deal with parenting.
Some others I want to read are Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, and Happiest Baby on the Block. There are some on my list I might not get to: Brain Rules for Baby, NurtureShock, No Drama Discipline, and The Whole Brain Child.
Friday, October 24, 2014
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
the maternity clothes
For the first couple months, I was able to wear my normal clothes. My tops were not tight fitting so I have been able to wear the same tops.
From week 15-20, I actually wore some DIY maternity jeans. I made two jeans with elastic inserts. Then one pair of black pants with a different type of elastic insert. And finally one pair of jeans with a full panel. The elastic insert jeans worked quite well for a while but then there started to not be enough room. I moved to the full panel but because I cut too much they don't fit right and fell down. I would constantly have to yank them up which is unsightly and a pain. For my black pants, I used a seam ripper and opened up the sides and back seam and added elastic there. They are also ill-fitting and fall down when I walk.
At Week 21, I gave in and bought a pair of maternity jeans from gap. they are full panel and very well made. They dont fall down, are comfortable, and look great. I've also been wearing my lululemon leggings but at times even those dont sit at the right place on my belly.
I had really hoped to not buy maternity clothing but now my shirts are starting to feel tight. next purchase might be maternity shirts
From week 15-20, I actually wore some DIY maternity jeans. I made two jeans with elastic inserts. Then one pair of black pants with a different type of elastic insert. And finally one pair of jeans with a full panel. The elastic insert jeans worked quite well for a while but then there started to not be enough room. I moved to the full panel but because I cut too much they don't fit right and fell down. I would constantly have to yank them up which is unsightly and a pain. For my black pants, I used a seam ripper and opened up the sides and back seam and added elastic there. They are also ill-fitting and fall down when I walk.
At Week 21, I gave in and bought a pair of maternity jeans from gap. they are full panel and very well made. They dont fall down, are comfortable, and look great. I've also been wearing my lululemon leggings but at times even those dont sit at the right place on my belly.
I had really hoped to not buy maternity clothing but now my shirts are starting to feel tight. next purchase might be maternity shirts
the news
i had an irrational fear of something bad happening or of miscarriage so it took us a while to feel comfortable enough to tell people about the baby. it really depends on how comfortable you feel and everyone is different. We waited until about 14 weeks until we told our parents and even then it was a bit rushed.
we were going to guernville/healdsburg for the weekend with my college friend and his wife and we knew that during the weekend, they would figure that I was not drinking wine. So on our drive up to meet them for dinner, we called our parents. My parents seemed happy and my mother-in-law seemed more concerned. Everyone will react differently.
A lot of people will have a lot of advice. Don't eat watermelon. Don't eat cheese. Don't eat spicy stuff. Don't eat this or that. Those are personal choices as well. They key for me is really cleanliness. If I think the food is clean I will eat it. Of course, even when I think it is clean, it may not be. So far in my pregnancy, I had one cold and then two small bouts of diarrhea. Nothing serious though.
I didn't have morning sickness so I was able to wait before needing to tell my boss. Once I told her, I told my actual manager as well. It was weird, when I talked about being pregnant, I would tear up. Damn hormones.
we were going to guernville/healdsburg for the weekend with my college friend and his wife and we knew that during the weekend, they would figure that I was not drinking wine. So on our drive up to meet them for dinner, we called our parents. My parents seemed happy and my mother-in-law seemed more concerned. Everyone will react differently.
A lot of people will have a lot of advice. Don't eat watermelon. Don't eat cheese. Don't eat spicy stuff. Don't eat this or that. Those are personal choices as well. They key for me is really cleanliness. If I think the food is clean I will eat it. Of course, even when I think it is clean, it may not be. So far in my pregnancy, I had one cold and then two small bouts of diarrhea. Nothing serious though.
I didn't have morning sickness so I was able to wait before needing to tell my boss. Once I told her, I told my actual manager as well. It was weird, when I talked about being pregnant, I would tear up. Damn hormones.
Sunday, September 21, 2014
the doctor
I had seen two other Obs before deciding that this third one was the right one for me. By the time I saw her though, I was already pregnant so that might have subconsciously factored into it. A lot of people in San Francisco deliver at CPMC. It seems to be the hospital of choice. I wanted to make my own choice.
My sister-in-law delivered at Mills Peninsula in Burlingame. We had visited her after she gave birth and the place was relatively new, easy to access, and had ample parking. The first Ob I saw delivered there. I had some concerns about being more susceptible to postpartum depression and tapering off the medication I was on at the time. We seemed to have some cultural differences as she did not understand why people were unhappy or depressed. Where she came from, people supposedly did not have the luxury of being depressed. She told me to eat some jelly beans instead of my medication as placebo effect. At the time, it seemed humorous, but looking back it was kind of negligent that she would suggest something like that.
The next Ob I saw did deliver at CPMC. She was really straightforward and while she was not warm or fuzzy, she seemed knowledgeable and open to hearing my concerns. She was the one who suggested we start before the tracker told us to so I am grateful for her suggestion.
My Ob now delivers at UCSF. What I liked about UCSF was that it was close by, the new hospital is being built within walking distance. I was also open to exploring the possibility of having a midwife help me out and UCSF has them on staff. I actually don't know if CPMC has that as well. I wanted to try a natural birth, maybe even without an epidural so having a midwife there would be great. I am not against an epidural but I believe I had a relatively high pain tolerance. Birth seems so unpredictable so that might not be possible, but I would like the opportunity and the support to try.
When I went in for my first appointment, which was called the pregnancy confirmation, I loved how close and convenient the office was. It was also really new and high tech. They weighed me on the bed I was sitting on instead of those uncalibrated beam scales. They also asked me if I wanted to know my weight, which was surprisingly a first! I actually did not prefer to know because it can trigger issues for me, but this was the first office that actually asked me. Some offices I would even tell them I don't know how much I weigh or that I prefer a blind weigh and they would still tell me! They did include the weight on the post-appointment print out, but at least they tried.
My doctor was knowledgeable, warm, and pretty easy going which were all qualities I didn't know I preferred until I met her.
My sister-in-law delivered at Mills Peninsula in Burlingame. We had visited her after she gave birth and the place was relatively new, easy to access, and had ample parking. The first Ob I saw delivered there. I had some concerns about being more susceptible to postpartum depression and tapering off the medication I was on at the time. We seemed to have some cultural differences as she did not understand why people were unhappy or depressed. Where she came from, people supposedly did not have the luxury of being depressed. She told me to eat some jelly beans instead of my medication as placebo effect. At the time, it seemed humorous, but looking back it was kind of negligent that she would suggest something like that.
The next Ob I saw did deliver at CPMC. She was really straightforward and while she was not warm or fuzzy, she seemed knowledgeable and open to hearing my concerns. She was the one who suggested we start before the tracker told us to so I am grateful for her suggestion.
My Ob now delivers at UCSF. What I liked about UCSF was that it was close by, the new hospital is being built within walking distance. I was also open to exploring the possibility of having a midwife help me out and UCSF has them on staff. I actually don't know if CPMC has that as well. I wanted to try a natural birth, maybe even without an epidural so having a midwife there would be great. I am not against an epidural but I believe I had a relatively high pain tolerance. Birth seems so unpredictable so that might not be possible, but I would like the opportunity and the support to try.
When I went in for my first appointment, which was called the pregnancy confirmation, I loved how close and convenient the office was. It was also really new and high tech. They weighed me on the bed I was sitting on instead of those uncalibrated beam scales. They also asked me if I wanted to know my weight, which was surprisingly a first! I actually did not prefer to know because it can trigger issues for me, but this was the first office that actually asked me. Some offices I would even tell them I don't know how much I weigh or that I prefer a blind weigh and they would still tell me! They did include the weight on the post-appointment print out, but at least they tried.
My doctor was knowledgeable, warm, and pretty easy going which were all qualities I didn't know I preferred until I met her.
the calendar
One useful tool that we used to conceive was the period tracker. There are other tools out there that people use. We might have tried the ovulation strips too but we seemed to be relatively lucky in conceiving without too much time or effort. In my search for an ob, one did recommend that we start about 10 days before the tracker told us it was "time". The first month we did that, it worked!
the medication
Among some other obvious things we needed to do to have a baby, we had wanted to be medication free while trying to get and being pregnant. When Kody passed, my support team and I decided that it was too much to try to taper off my medications. One of the medications I was taking was an obvious one to stop because a recent study had shown that it was toxic for babies and caused cleft palate/lip. It was also one that I had not been taking that long when compared to the other one. The other medication had unknown effects on babies. It was a personal choice and the medication was always something I preferred not to be on if I could. It was very hard for me to tell whether the medication was helping me or it was the other legwork I was doing. So earlier this year, we started the process of tapering off again. I didn't go through any significant withdrawal which was great. After the tapering was complete, we had the green light to start trying to conceive.
the recovery
life is all about recovery. things knock you down and you recover and get back up.
2013 was tough. There were days when I didn't think I could move on or when I thought moving on might be a sign that I would forget Kody. I will never forget her. I won't forget what she taught me and what she stood for.
I journalled. I went to therapy. I tried to distract myself with new crafts. I sketched. I crocheted. I felted. I tried unsuccessfully to volunteer with french bulldogs. I tried again successfully to volunteer with another french bulldog organization.
Then we adopted Pip from another organization that rescued french bulldogs. She is such a blessing. Supposedly she was a stray in San Jose. We often try to guess how she became a stray. Maybe she escaped? Or ran away? Not sure how someone could give a dog up. She was picked up by a shelter and then by the Bulldog Club of America Rescue Network. There she was fostered before being adopted by a couple who returned her after some months because they couldn't potty train her. They also found silica stones in her bladder that she had removed during surgery. I saw her on petfinder and decided to apply. They came and visited our place and we were approved! We drove to Folsom/Shingle Springs and met her at her foster mom's work/vet office.
It has been a year since Pip joined our family and I am so grateful for her presence in my life.
2013 was tough. There were days when I didn't think I could move on or when I thought moving on might be a sign that I would forget Kody. I will never forget her. I won't forget what she taught me and what she stood for.
I journalled. I went to therapy. I tried to distract myself with new crafts. I sketched. I crocheted. I felted. I tried unsuccessfully to volunteer with french bulldogs. I tried again successfully to volunteer with another french bulldog organization.
Then we adopted Pip from another organization that rescued french bulldogs. She is such a blessing. Supposedly she was a stray in San Jose. We often try to guess how she became a stray. Maybe she escaped? Or ran away? Not sure how someone could give a dog up. She was picked up by a shelter and then by the Bulldog Club of America Rescue Network. There she was fostered before being adopted by a couple who returned her after some months because they couldn't potty train her. They also found silica stones in her bladder that she had removed during surgery. I saw her on petfinder and decided to apply. They came and visited our place and we were approved! We drove to Folsom/Shingle Springs and met her at her foster mom's work/vet office.
It has been a year since Pip joined our family and I am so grateful for her presence in my life.
Thursday, September 18, 2014
baby planning
So we are expecting our first child next year 2015!
As with all things, there was planning involved. I wish I could have documented the planning process real time but we didn't tell family until recently and even now, not all our friends know!
First things first, of course my husband and I were on the same page about wanting children. We could go for more than two but by three I might be close to 40 years old! We got married in 2012 and were open to having children soon after but were also open to enjoying married life. Unfortunately, 2013 started with huge heartache as we I lost my french bulldog, Kody to unknown reasons. I was devastated. I still think about her everyday and even as we plan for baby, I wish Kody could have been here. We really took 2013 to re-coop and heal.
As with all things, there was planning involved. I wish I could have documented the planning process real time but we didn't tell family until recently and even now, not all our friends know!
First things first, of course my husband and I were on the same page about wanting children. We could go for more than two but by three I might be close to 40 years old! We got married in 2012 and were open to having children soon after but were also open to enjoying married life. Unfortunately, 2013 started with huge heartache as we I lost my french bulldog, Kody to unknown reasons. I was devastated. I still think about her everyday and even as we plan for baby, I wish Kody could have been here. We really took 2013 to re-coop and heal.
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Bright December wedding
My
cousin and her boyfriend of 10+ years from high school got married
christmas 2013 in Hong Kong. She sent me this mood board and asked me
to make tassel garlands for the weather balloons. 
Tassel garland in the making.
When we arrived in hong kong we got to assembling them. But we soon realized even this was best done on site.
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